Friday, October 31, 2003 ::: HAPPY HALLOWEEN HOOKERS
It is sad, but true: this year I will not be donning a Halloween costume. There will be no Tamee. There will not be a visit from the American Idol Crew (scan down to the 11.04.2002 blog for the pic). There will be no Patsy and Edina. And there will be no porn stars. Nope. None at all. This year Philip and I will eat a fantastic dinner, carve pumpkins and hand out candy to the neighborhood brats. They love my house, because we buy the best candy!
In preparation for Philip's return from Tex-ass, I'm taking the afternoon to myself. I ensured I was off of the roads by 12.30. Today happens to be the worst day of the year for traffic in Atlanta. The signs on the freeways were flashing warnings yesterday that traffic would be awful from 2-7 this afternoon. Craziness.
All of you peeps who are roaming the darkness in fabulous costumes tonight... HAVE SOME FUN FOR ME. Now... I have to get back to prepping for dinner.
This whole Reverend Mr. Hate Man thing has me really angry. Yes, he's been around for a long time. Yes, I've heard his crap before. BUT It's the Matthew Shepard monument that bothers me now. AND I listened to this and it made me cringe. He sounds like an ignorant country preacher who balks at anyone with a halfway decent education; and calls them wordly. Please don't insult me!
My anger resulted in an e-mail to him yesterday. It was tasteful, but to the point. I used no profanity. His response made me more angry, because it was just filled with more hate. So, I replied this morning with:
I find your reference to my life's direction to be a joke. You know nothing about me. You know nothing about the direction in which I am headed. If you were making judgments on the Great Judgment Day, I would be concerned. However, you are not. The only one who knows my heart is God.
Instead of focusing so much on the web links you sent to me, maybe you should read the Bible in it's entirety. It would give you a few lessons on the difference between condoning behavior and accepting people. Of course, you cannot see anything through the HATE that clouds your eyes.
I wish you well. Moreover, I wish the hate that fills your ministry would subside.
On a side note, your grammar is horrible. It is the complete evidence of your lack of an education from any creditable seminary. You appeal to the uneducated and ill informed. You suck money from them to promote your hate. It is very sad.
By the way, his actual e-mail address is email@example.com. I think every church needs a domain name like his. Wow. The whole thing is pitiful. Even though the monument isn't going to happen as a result of the vote yesterday... someone still needs to stop this idiot. AND QUICKLY!!
In her absence, I thought I could make a list. It may not be as interesting, but it is still a list...
*I love my brother and sister very much, but they are VERY loud guests.
*My dinner rocked. REALLY!
*I finally uploaded pictures from Laleh's visit and I love this one.
*Whoopi's new sitcom is absolutely hilarious.
*Will it end anytime soon?
*Is it Friday yet? I miss Philip!! I'm already planning our dinner and movies at home evening! It's all Halloweened Themed.
*Bret says he's having a party Saturday night. What will Tamee wear?!?!
*I refilled my water bottle from the gym yesterday... for today. I spent the whole time in the gym worried the employees thought I had stolen said water bottle without paying today. Is that crazy?
Tuesday, October 28, 2003 ::: The Day After Monday
Shew. It certainly is a shock to go from Sunday to Monday. I don't know why I haven't grown accustomed to it after thirty-one and one-quarter years. You would think it might get easier. I would think I'd know it was coming. I don't. [Almost] Every Monday I buckle-up for a bumpy ride. Yesterday wasn't so bad, but it was still Monday. And I was slowly moving through the LONG day.
Today, on the other hand, is fantastic. I worked out. I set up one zillion meetings. Since Philip is in Dallas, I've planned the dinner menu for my sibblings. And now I'm about to kick it into high gear for the rest of the afternoon.
Why can't I have this energy on Monday? I needed it yesterday. I wanted to do so many things, but my grumpy disposition left me to administrative bullshit. Is there some sort of Anti-Monday-Mood-Med?
Wednesday, October 22, 2003 ::: ...and we're gonna git married
God love Karen for this story. She called this week to share one of the most tragically hilarious wedding stories I have ever heard. Last weekend Karen hosted a shower for a friend who is getting married next month. After the shower, the girls went out for drinks in Camden, South Carolina.
Camden is not exactly the world's nightlife meca, so the choices were extremely limited. Their second venue was a dance club/bar called "Good Nights." Uh huh... you get the picture They pulled into the parking lot and noticed a purple Geo Prism that had Just Married written all over the car. Karen thought, "Hmmmm... this is an interesting place to come after your wedding."
When they walked inside they realized they had joined an OPEN wedding reception. The owner's son was married inside the bar and decided to have a reception there too. Paper wedding bells donned the club. Within minutes of their entrance into "Good Nights" the groom spanked the bride on the dance floor; The bride dirty danced with a patron/wedding guest in a wife-beater; AND three bridesmaids were aggressively grinding on the groom.
But that is not even the best of the story!! My two favorite parts of the story were the song choices Karen shared with me. The bride and groom's song was "You've lost that lovin' feeling." Hello? Do you listen to words? The last song was "Why don't we get drunk and screw?" KLASSY!
I wish I had stumbled into this scene with Karen. I probably would not have made it out alive, but I know I Karen and I would still be laughing together in the afterworld...
i'm going 100 mph today; and i'm in the best mood in WEEKS. i was driving through traffic en route to a meeting this morning and nearly wrecked. when i follow cars in traffic, i like to keep a safe distance between myself and the car in front of me. today i did not observe my personal rule. the SUV in front of me was obviously following a car too closely; i nearly hit him. i immediately created the coveted distance between myself and the road-hogging-SUV. i could see the traffic patern much more clearly. i darted into the blank spaces and blazed past everyone.
i started to think about people who follow others too closely in life. they miss blazing their own trail and a lot of amazing sites. so, watch out world... i 'm not following anyone closely anymore! if you won't get out of my way, i'll find another way around you.
on another note, happy 55th MOTHER. on another-another note, i want this wrapping paper... BUT NOT FOR MY MOTHER!
Dame Edna's performance was hilarious last night. I read to anticipate laughter once every thirty seconds. It was completely accurate. I wish I could recount the numerous times my side hurt from laughing; or the number of times my eyes were filled with tears from laughter. I think her jab at Arch Kennedy was one of my favorites. I don't know why... it just was!
1. I'm alive.
2. I'm almost over this cold.
3. I had a great childhood reunion weekend.
4. I'm not inspired to blog, obviously.
5. I love today's weather.
6. I'm excited about tonight.
7. I'm playing in a tennis tournament on Friday.
8. I've sent both of my parents birthday presents.
9. I'm tired of coughing.
10. I don't have anything else to say.
Since I'm not feeling a flood of words, and I'm lunching with her anyway, I thought I'd do a list TeenaStyle...
+Avoid e-mails from the ex-con
+Get my hair did.
+Get my nails did.
+Redneck girls power lunch.
+Prepare for Amy and Nikki's arrival.
And that's about it. Have nice weekend.... ya' hear?
Do you remember my short blurb about the ex-inmate-frat-bro? More dirt has surfaced in the pond of his life. He's actually plagiarizing Lewis Grizzard's old columns. Jefferson and I sent him an e-mail confronting the issue, but I have to say... I am in shock. I don't know why; but I am.
Thursday, October 02, 2003 ::: A Letter to the Editor
There are two letters I feel the need to write today. The first letter is to the editor of the Hartsville Messenger. It's a Small-South-Carolina-Town-Paper. They published an introduction to their new humor columnist, who happens to be a fraternity brother of mine. He also happens to be a fraternity brother recently released from federal prison. He also happens to be a compulsive liar. He also happened to be fired by two United States Senators for taking a little money from the office.
The second letter is to my lovely sister-girl, Teena. So, here they go:
Um, like, the introduction you published about ***** is a complete fabrication of lies. He didn't spend the last ten years working for the late Senator *** or the late Senator ***. He actually spent the last five years in federal prison for bank fraud. He did, however, work for both Senators prior to prison. He worked in each office for about six months... and then he got fired.
I just wanted you to know the truth.
A concerned America
letter number two
I am glad to hear Halo is closed. I did not want to make a trip into that den of iniquity tonight. I was thinking we hit Sonic for dinner and then go four-wheelin'.
Love you more than I used to,
Now, everybody go be good Americans (or whatever you are)! Just be honest. Just be you.