!!A MIND'S EYE!! ...



Thursday, May 29, 2003 :::
 
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.


oh. my. god. thanks, gbp.



::: posted by me at 29.5.03


 
I'm Cryin' My Dear

Over a year ago my father began a consulting engagement with a company here in Atlanta. It eventually led to him getting an apartment here. His time here was every other week initially, but it became more. Mom started alternating her time between Atlanta and New York. Yesterday was my Dad's last day consulting for this company. He's accepted another position in Upstate New York. Their apartment is empty. They are leaving this afternoon.

When the trips to Atlanta began it was great. It made my father more open to meeting people in my life, including Philip. Eventually Mom followed. It's been a wonderful experience for me. Me, the kid whose parents previously refused to even meet gay friends of mine. This year we spent Mother's Day at Philip and my home. Strange. Unexpected. Wonderful.

I sit here this morning and I am overcome with sadness. I have not had the luxury of seeing my parents this frequently since I graduated from High School, excluding a few summers in college. I'm really going to miss seeing them once a week. I didn't realize how nice it was having them here, until I knew they were leaving.

OK, I will suck it up. I'm not being a total baby; I'm just sad.



::: posted by me at 29.5.03



Tuesday, May 27, 2003 :::
 
Everyday Should Be A Holiday

Where do I begin? Anywhere. Ok. Although the holiday weekend did not begin here, we stumbled our way from Kimberly's condo to the barsssss several times. Picture wooden shacks on the beach. Picture them held together by large tents. Picture stages and bands. Picture very strong drinks. Picture a really good time for all. That sums up Flora-Bama Lounge. Half of the bar is in Florida, the other half is in Alabama. It's a total riot and I will go again.

The entire weekend was perfect. The weather cooperated completely. The days were diverse enough to prevent boredom. Our chairs on the beach were near the local skydiving landing spot. I felt as though we were being invaded by rainbow parachutes on several occasions. Philip and I parasailed at 1200 feet; Kimberly and Tori did it at 900 feet. 1200 feet was really high, y'all. It was amazing, until Philip kept trying to point out places where the rope frayed. Funny. Really Funny. We even spent a day boating with Kimberly's brother.

The Redneck Riviera is gorgeous. According to law, ANYONE may wear a bikini. I witnessed several of the supporters. It's hard to believe I experienced this and Bentley wagons within 100 feet of one another. The Redneck Riviera. I would return. Actually, I will return. I have to have another Bushwacker at Flora-Bama. I also need to hear my favorite line of the weekend again, "I don't need no sheewwwws!"



::: posted by me at 27.5.03



Wednesday, May 21, 2003 :::
 
Here Comes The Rain Again

I swear people... I am ready for a fucking break from this rain. Somehow the clouds have not destroyed my mood today... YET. But I'm sure it will happen at some point. Maybe it is because I am sitting at my desk with one million lamps shining on me. Maybe it is because I know I am leaving for Gulf Shores tomorrow. Maybe it is because I completed every final responsibility with my old position... YESTERDAY! That can only last so long, I need the sun. I need it badly.



::: posted by me at 21.5.03



Tuesday, May 20, 2003 :::
 
Children Behave

I just wondered where she is now. Maybe it was because this song popped in my head this morning. Sorry. Don't ask any questions. Luckily, I googled and found this.

Oh... Happy Birthday to my brother and Melis!



::: posted by me at 20.5.03



Monday, May 19, 2003 :::
 
Sigh

Even though it is Monday, my mood should be stellar. I am on vacation until next Tuesday. I have a new job. I am free from my boss' crap. I have great friends. My family is amazing. My partner is indescribable. But I read this, and a cloud more dark than Atlanta's sky covers me.

Speechless. Sad. Sick.

::: posted by me at 19.5.03



Friday, May 16, 2003 :::
 
it sounded a little like this

Yesterday began with a moderate day scheduled. Somehow, it quickly exploded into another extremely productive day. My dentist appointment was scheduled for 11.00. He was behind; I knew the moment I walked into the office. I waited for five minutes and decided my time was entirely too valuable. I walked to the desk, noted the delay and rescheduled for Monday. It may be a little obnoxious, but I don't think he'd wait for me either.

My father called as I rode the escalator to the parking lot. Our conversation regarding the purchase of my leased SUV quickly resulted in a purchase of a new car. The more I drove, the more I decided I loved my new car.

I called Philip on the way home. We decided to go out for dinner. We drove aimlessly for thirty-minutes and landed in Decatur. As we parked, I remembered the law, which prohibits smoking in Decatur restaurants. We left and raced to the deck at Fontaine's.

During our leisurely dinner I mentioned I wanted to find one item to personalize my car. Something tasteful, of course. Philip suggested I race through Morningside over speed bumps and knock out the oil pan. Hmmmmm.

When we stopped laughing I said, "I love this place."

Philip gave me the cutest smile as I continued, "And you love me."

He replied, "Do you know how lucky you are?"

"As lucky as you."

We smiled again.

I do not mean to be obnoxious about my relationship, but I have never been so happy. Truth! It feels good to finally reach a point where so many personal efforts are joining for a combined good. In the not too distant past, I thought I was stuck in so many ways. Personally. Professionally. But I feel a huge growth coming. I do not know if it is just opportunity or an innate desire that has taken over. Whatever it is, I like it. I like feeling driven to move forward, towards an objective.



::: posted by me at 16.5.03



Thursday, May 15, 2003 :::
 
raindropsarefallingonmyhead



The leaves outside my office window are complete with a shiney wet finish. The street in front of my house is collecting deep puddles of water. The flowers outside of my house are smiling. The lawn outside of my house is healthy. The sky outside of my house holds no blue. And I know it won't be long before happiness steps up to greet ME!




::: posted by me at 15.5.03



Wednesday, May 14, 2003 :::
 
you look like a monkey



friday night i am hosting/co-hosting/hosting/co-hosting a birthday party for melissa. her actual birthday is next week, but friday was the best time for her party. i love melis and want the party to be more than just nice. i've gotten a little frustrated, because things are coming together too slowly. the fact is, i've become a superfag when it comes to hosting a party. not only do i want enough food, but i also want the right foods. not only do i want a bar with variety, but i also want to ensure the alcohol does not run short. in other words, i'm not one to be unprepared for a party. afterall, it is a reflection of me. i've learned a lesson. the next party i host, philip and i will host exclusively. it is easier to plan. it is easier to prepare.

on the way home from the gym, we discussed details. philip mentioned the birthday cake and asked, "who will eat it anyway?" i explained to him that some people would and we did need a cake. i also explained that all of the girls would need something to feed their tits. am i right?!

of course, there are other strange things going on...



::: posted by me at 14.5.03



Tuesday, May 13, 2003 :::
 
money changes everything



What color is your money?



::: posted by me at 13.5.03



Monday, May 12, 2003 :::
 
Lord, Lead Me Home

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I was a good son. I made my mother's day, by attending church with her. I refuse to link to the site, but i went to church here: www.fba.org. The Pastor of this church also runs this ministry: www.intouch.org. He's an intelligent man. He's a compelling speaker. He's also extremely long-winded and redundant in his points. I did not feel like pins were being stuck into my eyes until I realized he was an hour into the sermon. The entire service was two-hours long. My sister, her boyfriend, my father and I became very annoyed at the ninety-minute mark. It reached a point where I commented under my breath after the Pastor finished each statement. Joel laughed, Parker's eyes rolled and I nearly exploded.

The last song had the lyrics, "Lord Lead Me Home." I sang with energy and sarcasm. They were the most appropriate lyrics after a 120-minute church service. Home was exactly where I wanted the Lord to lead me at that point. I'm glad I went to FBA, because it made Mom's day. However, that will be my last visit for a while.

We rushed home for a late Mother's Day lunch with my family and Philip. We enjoyed homemade ice cream. We visited. It was a great afternoon. After the house cleared Philip and I were exhausted. We watched old movies for the remainder of the rainy afternoon. While we ate dinner, I felt Philip looking at me. I turned and he smiled. I said, "What?" He answered, "I was just thinking about you." I repeated, "What?" He continued, "I was just thinking about how much I love you. I know we're going to be together for a lifetime."

It made me smile. It made me warm. It made me grateful for so many things in my life. My mother. My family. My partner. My personal God. So, Mother's Day was great. I'd do it all over without any changes... even the super-duper-extra-unnecessarily-long service.





::: posted by me at 12.5.03



Saturday, May 10, 2003 :::
 
Celebrate Good Times, Come On!



It seems my life is embarking on a new phase. This is one of the many things I love about life. I love how there are constantly new things brought into your world. I enjoy the process of finding places for them and moving forward. I have the perfect place for my new job.

We were at the gym by 8.45 this morning to lift before Philip's spin class. Luckily, Cliff and Steve sat on either side of me to keep me motivated and entertained. Spinning with friends is really fun, y'all. You can laugh and stuff; and then the time goes by very quickly. I was so productive this morning that I'm stuck in a chill mode at home right now. Water flowers. Play with dogs. Make a phone call. Buy Mother's Day gifts.

That's all. Nothing more. Nothing less.



::: posted by me at 10.5.03



Friday, May 09, 2003 :::
 
money, money, money

we had a work function yesterday. it was to close out the membership drive for the association to which both of our companies are members. everyone who participated and contributed in the drive was awarded money for the shopping spree. my envelope contained $100, but my friend danielle was the top winner with $505. she also won a trip to disney world for five days. afterwards, we went for japanese and libations. even though i was in bed by eleven, it was a difficult to climb out this morning.

i'm up and preparing to final-final-finalize this job offer. they want me to help outline my compensation package so i am completely happy. this is so ideal. for all of the bullshit i put up with in the dot.conomy, i never had the opportunity to have input into how i was paid. it appears the resignation will have to wait until monday, but that's ok. i know i am finished with that crappy job.

enjoy friday and the weekend. atlanta's weather looks promisingly awesome. yes, we may even have a reprieve from the torrential downpour of late. i promise to behave. i promise.

by the way, it is my sister's 19th birthday today. happy birthday parker!





::: posted by me at 9.5.03



Thursday, May 08, 2003 :::
 
we are living in a material world

i received a call from my ex-wife today. she always makes me laugh. she was leaving for two weeks in france with her mother and wanted to tell me good bye, in case her plane crashed. i laughed with her. the conversation continued with us volleying updates. i asked about her boyfriend; she brought me up to speed. she cracks me up.

she told me she has always been with beautiful people. she said maybe it is shallow, but she loved that. she shared with me the things that bothered her, but i quickly reminded her that this man is actually straight. so, he probably won't pay as much attention to his hair, his clothes, his shoes or any of the other many things that a gay man does. we laughed some more.

our whole conversation made me so thankful that she is still in my life and we are such good pals. i never imagined we'd reach this point when we were going through the big D, but we have...



::: posted by me at 8.5.03


 
somebody answer the phone

it's been really busy this week, y'all. i ran all over this city just trying to get everything accomplished. i set up a follow-up meeting to my interview for this afternoon. i will have a formal offer in writing to review. if all goes well, i will resign friday afternoon or monday morning from my job. happy day! oh what a day!

other than that, i'm trying to clean up my home office. i'll still be working from here and i need a lot more storage space. back to it...



::: posted by me at 8.5.03



Tuesday, May 06, 2003 :::
 
snowcoveredhills



have you ever seen this?

if so, then you'll be interested to hear this.



::: posted by me at 6.5.03


 
Daydreaming, again!

It has been like a whirlwind around here. Not in a bad way, but I've been on. The weekend was fun. Friday night Philip and I ventured to the Heretic after the MAD dinner. We played the welcoming wagon and met almost everyone in the bar. Apparently, we gave our phone number to many of the new friends we met. Our voicemail on Saturday was the proof. We were also propositioned by several people who wanted to join our couple. Couple is two in this family, not three or four. It's flattering and all, but no thanks.

It rained Saturday morning. That delayed the scheduled yardwork, but we finished everything by Sunday. Saturday evening we went by a keg party at my sister's new house. It made me wish I were still in college, but just briefly. Her refrigerator is adorned with magnet phrases. I quickly spotted one that Parker fashioned. It read: DRUNK BROTHER ALWAYS. Hmmm. Me?

Sunday entailed more yardwork and a cookout at Bret's. It was quite the eclectic gathering, to say the least. Philip and I exited early and continued our own fun at home. The lawn was perfect for a game of frisbee and a smaller crowd. Call me crazy, but Sunday's are for smaller gatherings. I needed to relax before the week, not be burdened with forced conversation. 'Nuff said. Mkay?

Yesterday I had an interview. It went very well. I would be taking on more responsibility and helping a company in their national expansion efforts. I basically have a job offer if I am interested, which I am. I just need to spend some time today and tomorrow outlining the pros/cons and all of my many additional questions. So, May is good. It is really good. I'm in a nice, calm, peaceful place. Stay.



::: posted by me at 6.5.03



Friday, May 02, 2003 :::
 
Sunrise, blinds your eyes

Dinner with a few of the faves was monumental as to be expected. Melis casually slept, well maybe not so casually. Most would consider it a slight lapse in consciousness. Teena and Tamee were as hateful as their mama taught 'em to be. The words fuckfaces, bitches and cunts come to mind. Phylis spent the evening nurturing the wounded. There was actually only love, but we all just express it so differently. The kuntry sisters are still tryin' to determine the best means thru which they can express their love. Right now, snake bites seem to be fairly analogous.

Hey Todd! Hey!



::: posted by me at 2.5.03


 
this is the second email i've received of this nature, this week


ALHAJI mike udoh
FROM THE DESK OF ALHAJI mike udoh
IKOYI, LAGOS.
PHONE;234-80232-831-34
BUSINESS ATTENTION.
URGENT BUSINESS DEAL


I am pleased to send my greetings to you, I know this
letter
will definitely come to you as a surprise package, and
you will be
wondering
how i came about your contact, actaully, i came about
your contact
when i was browsing through the internet, on looking
for a
trustworthy, confidential and honest partner with whom
i can transact
this business with, i then came about your contact and
decided
to contact you I am extending this proposal to you in
my capacity
as the chairman of the contractReview/Audit Committee
scrutinizing
all record covering executed contract awarded
byprevious military
government of Nigeria. My colleagues and I have
uncovered a
floating amount of USD$22,500,000.00 (TWENTY TWO
MILLION, FIVE
HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S.DOLLARS), without a clear
beneficiary owing to a
deliberate act of over invoicing
and inflating of contract value by some government
officials.This money
USD$22.5M),has already been approved
for payment by the ministry of Mines, Powerand Steel
and is secured
under .
As top civil servants we are not authorized to operate
foreign
bank account and this is why we want to use your bank
account to
transfer this money outside Nigeria. We have
accepted you as
our foreign partner and will now regularize the
approvals to you as
the trust beneficiary of the contractsum.As soon as
we receive
your acceptance, we shall inform you of the necessary
requirements
from you to facilitate transfer. Let us use this
opportunity
toexploit the benefit of this sum. We have resolved to
give 20% of the
totalsum as compensation for your assistance, 70% is
for me and
my partners here in Nigeria, 10% is set asideto cover
every
expenses made in the course of the transaction. Note
that this
should be confidential. Send your urgentresponse
strictly through
my E-mail: mike_udoh@yahoo.com
as this is a confidential mailbox Please do not fail
to reply
me with your private Telephone and fax numbers for
easy communication.

Yours faithfully,

THANKS AND GOD BLESS

mike udoh
ps; while I await your reply at most by FRIDAY, if you
do not
reply, I will have no choice but to find another
alternative.


I'll have to let Dear Mike Udoh go with another alternative. However, if anyone else is interested will you share a finder's fee with me?




::: posted by me at 2.5.03


 
this is the second email (this week) i've received of this nature

ALHAJI mike udoh
FROM THE DESK OF ALHAJI mike udoh
IKOYI, LAGOS.
PHONE;234-80232-831-34
BUSINESS ATTENTION.
URGENT BUSINESS DEAL


I am pleased to send my greetings to you, I know this
letter
will definitely come to you as a surprise package, and
you will be
wondering
how i came about your contact, actaully, i came about
your contact
when i was browsing through the internet, on looking
for a
trustworthy, confidential and honest partner with whom
i can transact
this business with, i then came about your contact and
decided
to contact you I am extending this proposal to you in
my capacity
as the chairman of the contractReview/Audit Committee
scrutinizing
all record covering executed contract awarded
byprevious military
government of Nigeria. My colleagues and I have
uncovered a
floating amount of USD$22,500,000.00 (TWENTY TWO
MILLION, FIVE
HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S.DOLLARS), without a clear
beneficiary owing to a
deliberate act of over invoicing
and inflating of contract value by some government
officials.This money
USD$22.5M),has already been approved
for payment by the ministry of Mines, Powerand Steel
and is secured
under .
As top civil servants we are not authorized to operate
foreign
bank account and this is why we want to use your bank
account to
transfer this money outside Nigeria. We have
accepted you as
our foreign partner and will now regularize the
approvals to you as
the trust beneficiary of the contractsum.As soon as
we receive
your acceptance, we shall inform you of the necessary
requirements
from you to facilitate transfer. Let us use this
opportunity
toexploit the benefit of this sum. We have resolved to
give 20% of the
totalsum as compensation for your assistance, 70% is
for me and
my partners here in Nigeria, 10% is set asideto cover
every
expenses made in the course of the transaction. Note
that this
should be confidential. Send your urgentresponse
strictly through
my E-mail: mike_udoh@yahoo.com
as this is a confidential mailbox Please do not fail
to reply
me with your private Telephone and fax numbers for
easy communication.

Yours faithfully,

THANKS AND GOD BLESS

mike udoh
ps; while I await your reply at most by FRIDAY, if you
do not
reply, I will have no choice but to find another
alternative.


I am going to have to say, "go with another alternative."




::: posted by me at 2.5.03



Thursday, May 01, 2003 :::
 
here fishy, fishy, fishy

tamee and teena met for lunch today. we braved the sushi buffet at rusan's. i know. it sounds scary, but rusan's has really good sushi. so we tried it. isn't sushi served COLD? we also tried the fried-fried. i thought fried food was served HOT. but what do i know? regardless of the barffet, we had fun. i think if we were locked in a padded room we'd still find fun.

i returned and was greeted by more nightmares at work. sometimes the incompetence of some people really baffles me. i had some fires to put out prior to lunch. and now, now i have more. my first reaction was to pick up the phone and yell at a certain someone. my second reaction was to drive into the office and punch a certain someone in the face. i knew that wouldn't work. i cannot even look at him right now. has someone ever disgusted you that much?

i just am not comfortable with mediocrity. it's not a zone in which i've ever enjoyed operating; whether at work, in pleasure, in friendships or in love. it just ain't me. i know violence isn't the answer, but maybe it is. maybe if i punched him in the face i would feel better. i mean, hell, it is working on the war on terrroism. right? violence good.

instead i compiled an email. an email that, as all others do, will go unanswered. but at least i will go to bed knowing i am doing the right thing; whatever in the fuck that is worth. does anyone need a pool boy? or do i just need to manage this anger better?



::: posted by me at 1.5.03


 
hey batter, batter, batter

philip and i spent the day golfing with your mom yesterday. i felt like i spent the day with you. the two of you are so much alike; and that's a huge compliment to you both! the weather was great. the afternoon was about seven degrees too warm, but i'm not complaining.

i found a new sport. it was my first attempt to swing a club in five years, but my game was fairly decent by the end of the day. i won a gift certificate for eighteen holes at chateau elan in the raffle. philip won the same thing for another course. we may just have to give it another swing in the very near future. watch out tiger woods. we're soon to become the ambiguously gay duo of golf. uh huh.

if you like that cartoon, there are more here.



::: posted by me at 1.5.03






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