!!A MIND'S EYE!! ...

Monday, March 31, 2003 :::
run, run, run

steve blogged about it. john blogged about it twice. karen called twice yesterday to let me know how much fun she had. she even says the guest list for next year will go unaltered. she wants the same people at the same space; with the same attitudes!

the weekend was great. the drive to camden was entirely too much fun. i did not venture into the masses much, but i did enjoy my group. the bluegrass band was so much fun. lunch with karen's mother was awesome. it was our first visit since she moved into assisted living. it was difficult to see the changes alzheimer's has caused, but great to see her nonetheless. she's such an amazing woman.

getting home last night and cuddling with philip was another great moment of the weekend. sometimes i just forget how blessed i am. i think i forget a little too often.

::: posted by me at 31.3.03

Friday, March 28, 2003 :::
that's all they want

this conversation over my cellie:

*clank, clank, clunk*
philip: i'm in the liquor store *clank* what do we need?
me: vodka, champagne, a hostess gift for karen and beer
philip: i bought five bottles of champagne
me: what?
philip: one per person
me: american express? is this how we get out of debt
philip: oh wait. here is one for less from wine spectator
me: just get three.
*clank, clink, clunk, clank*
philip: i got four *chuckle*

here we go weekend, here we go!
here we go weekend, here we go!

::: posted by me at 28.3.03

it's now or never...

weather. whether. which weather? can i get an accurate report? each forecast for the weekend in south carolina is different. the local weather person is reporting a high of 63 and 70% chance of rain. weather.com is telling me it will be beautiful tomorrow. i do not know which to believe. can we ever just have consistent, accurate forecasting? in situations like this, i think we should be able to select which is correct. i choose weather.com, whether i am right or not is yet to be seen. what do my travel companions think?

i love roadtrips. i mean love 'em. say a prayer for the weekend. praise jesus!

::: posted by me at 28.3.03

Thursday, March 27, 2003 :::
sunshine and rain

most often, i am a bundle of joy. there are a few exceptions. just to let you know, i can be a little grumpy when i wake each morning. i am also irritable when i'm sleepy. this morning i woke on the RIGHT side of the bed. i was chipper. i was ready. i was rested. i was moving full steam ahead to get ready for the gym.

somehow, philip knows which buttons to push to irritate me. he loves to push the buttons early in the morning. today was no different. but i just rolled my eyes and kept moving. in the gym, he was mocking everything i did. an acquaintance walked up and asked, "are you guys racing or something?" i said, "no. he's just being a freak." philip stopped after that; and i loved it. i've got my new trick down.

lots of other things are going on right now, but i just have not been up for blogging them. nothing bad. i'm just feeling personal with my life lately. maybe it is time to retire my blog. maybe i just need a little vaction. because it is mostly boring me lately.

tomorrow is friday... that never bores me!

::: posted by me at 27.3.03

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 :::

it is time for me to spread weed kill on the lawn. i wonder if tammy would rather do it for me?

::: posted by me at 25.3.03

Monday, March 24, 2003 :::
today is the greatest

the word for today is moderation. can you pronounce the word, kids? Mod`er*a"shun can you define it? the act of imposing due restraint. can you use it in a sentence? i will practice moderation in my actions for at least the next three weeks. can you put it to action? time will tell.

the weekend was a wild whirlwind of wackiness. melissa, parker and i took a trip out to visit with my friend karen at the horse show this weekend. my favorite memory of the day with my sister was waiting for the elevator in her building. we both waited for the elevator doors to open, when neither of us had pushed the call button. typical. after a birthday party on saturday evening, we hooked up with DANGER. sunday, being my favorite day, was relaxed. we left the oscar party at bret's early and were in bed by 8.30; asleep by 9.00. love that.

i hope this week zooms. cliff, steve, john, philip and i are off to the cup on friday afternoon. the day will begin at nine. the races last until sixish and then we're going to a party at the farm across the street from karen's. the neighbors are having a band party that evening: bluegrass music (or something). it's going to be a big weekend folks, but we'll be practicing moderation. trust.

::: posted by me at 24.3.03

Thursday, March 20, 2003 :::

after watching cnn, abc and nbc news last night i was eager to sleep. sleep brought unwelcomed dreams. i dreamt of young children running from bombs. they ran in deserts. they ran through city streets. they all seemed so knowledgable in the avoidance of being hit. i remembered the dream in the shower this morning and was a little disturbed...

::: posted by me at 20.3.03

Wednesday, March 19, 2003 :::

just in time for spring...
just in time for war...
just in time for me to leave town...

i'll be back friday.

::: posted by me at 19.3.03

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 :::
doctor, doctor

i went for the annual physical this morning and everything checked out A-O-K. i found the reception area to be quite entertaining. there were no vacant seats. laptops were being pounded by a sea of suited salespeople. pamphlets were pulled from briefcases. the room was primarily pharmaceutical reps. i was one of three patients, in a room of ten people. during my five minute wait, at least three new pharm-reps entered. how annoying was that for the doctors? these people had a whole sub-culture going on, and it was advertised with a big neon sign that flashed ANNOYING!!!!!

in other news, my cousin had a baby girl at four o'clock this morning. her older sister called to give me the news. my sister and i are making a trip to raleigh, north carolina in two weeks to welcome her to the world.

::: posted by me at 18.3.03

just a little bit

there is nothing like the network being down for a total of 18 hours (and counting). i'm going for my annual physical this morning and hoped to get some things accomplished that piled up yesterday (as a result of the system). it isn't going to happen. the pattern of yesterday's unproductivity flows over into today.

i watched george w. speak last night, and am bracing with the rest of the world today. on the way back from the gym this morning i heard saddam is expected to make an address at some point today. right now, i am overcome with fear of the impending war. war. i cannot believe i am saying that word. it does not feel real. i do not think it feels real to many in my country. i think if it were happening on our soil, it would feel so much more real to ALL americans.

keep your chins up...

::: posted by me at 18.3.03

Monday, March 17, 2003 :::
absolutely nothing

it is difficult to think of celebrating st. patrick's day (not that i would anyway), when today holds so many other things at stake. but that is not enough. we also have the new strain of pneumonia posing a potential "global threat."

i raced through the weekend seemingly oblivious to the threats the world poses today. i ate dinners. i saw friends. i had fun. and today, i feel selfish for it all. when will the waters calm again?

::: posted by me at 17.3.03

Friday, March 14, 2003 :::
some questions before the weekend

*why do (trashy) americans love to sue?

*are you going to return my call?

*did you get that ass pounded last night?

*how is your move going?

*is the fab one enjoying her new job?

*why is the world filled with these type of problems?

*will you make the sun come back for the weekend?

*will philip and i have hot gay sex the moment he walks in from work?

*where have you been hiding?

*when is my next vacation?

::: posted by me at 14.3.03

Thursday, March 13, 2003 :::

i still do not have much to say. i am alive. all is great. i am not sullen, nor am i chatty. i will be chatty soon. brace yourself.

::: posted by me at 13.3.03

Wednesday, March 12, 2003 :::

green grass.
smaller ass.

warm air.
shorter hair.

blue sky.
get high.

yellow flowers.
outside for hours.

birds sing.
ears often ring.

a butterfly.
get high.

::: posted by me at 12.3.03

Tuesday, March 11, 2003 :::
don't fear the reaper

it seems death circles in and out of lives. it slowly begins to swoop closer to your world, because it is your turn. you and yours have been spared the heartache. you have been spared the pain. one day your realize death has not been near. you hear a story of a distant friend. it continues to move more closely.

the hand of the reaper seems to be moving into my world. i heard three stories of distant, yet close deaths yesterday. last night bret called. his brother's partner also passed yesterday. over the weekend a group of us discussed death. death frightens me. for some reason, i have not made peace with my ultimate destiny.

i think part of it is my religious background of hellfire and damnation. if you hear something enough, you may begin to believe it. i think another part of my fear is that i genuinely enjoy life. i have so many things i want to accomplish and enjoy, but am constantly reminded of the limited time. what does it all mean? i don't know. i just know i hope the reaper has circled as close as it will for now.

::: posted by me at 11.3.03

Monday, March 10, 2003 :::
let's get it on

atlanta was graced with a beautiful weekend, filled with all types of activities. overall it was a relatively self-indulgent weekend. i got my shop on. i got my drink on. i got my dance on. i got a birthday celebation on. i got some more shop on. i got a sunday afternoon porch party on. i got so much on that i am completely drained this morning. i did nothing productive, so today will be spent paying for it.

happy monday.

::: posted by me at 10.3.03

Friday, March 07, 2003 :::
these are the things

*i missed the address last night
*if bret says, "he did a good job. i honestly believe he believes what he is saying," he had to do a decent job
*i was with my youthpride small group
*i had one kid show up for the discussion group
*it was disappointing
*we need donations
*i raced from decatur to john's for dinner
*we laughed, a lot
*i woke with a slight headache, not a terrible one... thanks!
*hello WEEKEND

::: posted by me at 7.3.03

Thursday, March 06, 2003 :::
P. B. and J.

peanut butter and jelly. yum. peanut butter. yum. white bread. wheat bread. whatever. it is all good. in high school, when i had the metabolism of a horse, i ate four or five PBJs after school for a snack. but i never loved them enough to steal them; or wasted the governments money on finding out who took mine. iowa is having some serious crime, y'all. i'd stay away from there, at all costs.

what about you?

::: posted by me at 6.3.03

Wednesday, March 05, 2003 :::

me. like a typical leo... i just wish i could spend my life making guest appearances. hmmmm. now scheduling. where would you like me?

::: posted by me at 5.3.03

you put your right foot in

it is ash wednesday. and we know what that means. the lenten season is upon us. i am not a person to follow established religion, but this year a sacrifice behooves me.

one year i gave up the idea of giving up anything. but after a carbohydrate indulgent mardis gras, i am officially saying good-bye to all breads, pastas, rices and potatoes until the resurrection. it is the perfect timing. forty days and forty nights to get my body fit. forty days and forty nights to make sure i continue to look nothing like i did at mardis gras two years ago. forty days and forty nights. that is nothing.

anyone want to go to the noon ash wednesday service with me? ring me up, but for now i'm off to the gym.

::: posted by me at 5.3.03

Tuesday, March 04, 2003 :::
earth below us

oh. kay. spring road trips planned. i am particularly excited about the upcoming trip to camden, south carolina. i spent some of my childhood near camden. every week we loaded my horse onto the trailer and drove to my riding lessons. i went to college thirty miles in the other direction. karen, who i used to ride with in college, now lives on a farm in camden. bret, john, philip and i agreed to make the three and a half hour trip for the carolina cup this month.

picture this. a big field. lots of dresses, spring hats, bow ties and drunks. the sun. more drinks. stumble. stumble. stumble. a recently divorced ann mishoe and her new boyfriend. the new mother laura, with her baby and husband. same people. different lives. new fun. jefferson, do you think tom and trey will be excited to see us? are you sure you don't want to fly out for this one?!

::: posted by me at 4.3.03

dancing in the streets

i'm taking fat tuesday to a new level. how much can i eat today? happy mardis gras, y'all...

::: posted by me at 4.3.03

Monday, March 03, 2003 :::
lights out

so, i kinda drank too much last night. and i am kinda hungover today. and my boyfriend just had me convinced that i slurred a conversation with my mother when we got home. and i was kinda freaked out. and he kinda laughed. and i was kinda relieved. but now i kinda have to get dressed for work and i definitely don't want to.

::: posted by me at 3.3.03

Sunday, March 02, 2003 :::
i love this

The fat man put the hose in the tank. "I jus' don't know what the country's comin' to. Relief an' all."

Casy said, "I been walkin' aroun' in the country. Ever' body's askin' that. What we comin' to? Seems to me we don't never come to nothin'. Always on the way. Always goin' and goin'. Why don't folks think about that? They's movement now. People moving. We know why, an' we know how. Movin' 'cause they got to. That's why folks always move. Movin' 'cause they want somepin better'n what they got. An' that's the on'y way they'll ever git it. Wantin' it an' needin' it, they'll go out an' git it. It's bein' hurt that makes folks mad to fightin'. I been walkin' aroun' the country, an' hearin' folks talk like you."

The fat man pumped the gasoline and the needle turned on the pump dial, recording the amount. "Yeah, but what's it comin' to? That's what I want ta know."

Tom broke in irritably, "Well, you ain't never gonna know. Casy tries to tell ya an' you jest ast the same thing over. I seen fellas like you before. You ain't askin' nothin', you're jus' singin' a kinda song. 'What we comin' to?' You don' wanta know. Country's movin' aroun', goin' places. They's folks dyin' all aroun'. Maybe you'll die pretty soon, but you won't know nothin'. I seen too many fellas like you. You don't want to know nothin'..."

::: posted by me at 2.3.03



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