seated comfortably in the lap of luxury, i am enjoying amsterdam. bikes, walkers and faces sans smile fill the streets. philip and i played a game on our first afternoon here. find a person smiling. in two hours we found one. i find the serious essence of the people here to be the most odd! on the other hand, i did not know pot like this existed. honestly.
yesterday i decided my birthday is just a day. what i enjoy is the mass influx of hype prior to the actual day! it's a little mini-holiday. a christmas for waltalicious. i'm very happy about being thirty. it feels nice.
my beau is the absolute grandest. i feel our connection deepening on a daily basis. the first time i saw philip i knew he would be a significant part of my life. i did not know i would allow him to know me in the RAW. for once, it feels safe to be known this way.
i love vacation! i also love the "sidewalk vendor" who enabled us to dance until... sometime.
yes, all is well. following an incredible birthday evening, i am sluggishly preparing myself for the flight to amsterdam today. bret pulled another nice gathering together. i would not change one thing. the crowd was the perfect size. i had the opportunity to chat with everyone. i love my friends. i really do!
historically before a trip i become so manically excited it exhausts even me. today i am excited, but quite chilled. i feel adequately prepared. i feel inadequately rested, but i shall remedy it on delta. i cannot wait for the experiences of the next two weeks.
why would i complain? i have three days of ringing in thirty in amsterdam with ross, jeff and philip. i have four days of recovering in the german countryside with said crew. the next three days will be spent touring zurich with jeff and philip. finally, philip and i take off to rome! how could i be anything outside of blissful?
it is downhill to vacation. bret has organized a birthday cookout for me this evening. i do not know who all is coming so it is somewhat of a surprise. bret is always so good about making a big deal out of my birthday (along with me). karen is the one who taught me to make such a HUGE deal out of my birthday. poor philip! he's the one who is getting exhausted by THREE-OH!
did i mention it is downhill until i leave for vacation. TOMORROW. did i also mention it is almost my birthday? THURSDAY.
well, she did it again. dale's poolside gathering this afternoon was more than i anticipated. it was a gathering of atlantans ready to chill. philip and i entered and were greeted by a smiling host! i knew it was time to park and enjoy.
shortly following our entrance brandi-brandi-fun-fun-chic-a! strolled in carrying her usual smile and positive energy. others followed. music played. drinks drank. sun shone. the pool assisted in subsiding the heat.
ms. laura made a brief cameo. i always enjoy her. another source of incredible energy. as usual, she listened to my babble, laughed and made me feel interesting. i know that takes work.
cliff and slim good body also made a surprise appearance. they reminded me of why i love my friends. we are individuals who are not afraid to be exactly what we are: HAPPY.
here i am with my miss-mess-a-lot. we're avoiding a nap and psyching ourselves up for an evening of fun with a great group of friends. remember i said i was moody? mood swing to fun today...
any local bloggers up for a little dinner gathering? we obviously have what it takes for a fun evening.
it is friday afternoon. the weekend awaiting my arrival and i am anxiously awaiting the funk exodus. while the funk is TOTALLY mild, the rhyme or reason for the visitor is absent. yes, work entailed a little abnormal duties today. every job requires efforts which fall out of our desires and expectations. however, my current expectation is blogging will send said visitor running towards the connector (and in front of a truck).
the funometer for the weekend looks great. there are many opportunities to handle the HEAT. someone has organized a pool gathering for saturday. another pool gathering on sunday awaits. a small dinner gathering tonight calls. philip and i will completely pack to make next week much less hectic. it's sounding more and more inviting.
has blogging cured the moodiness that ensued today? or was it the cure....
yesterday i was thinking about the number of strange dreams i've had lately. they range from a massive bug attack to being stranded in an industrial sector of town at night. i dreamt about war. i dreamt about death. i dreamt about everything not positive. it seems many people are having a barrage of odd dreams lately. i know it is all connected to something; somehow. methinks the climate of things going on in the world is intense.
i watched a news program last night that referred to the apocalyptic events of our world. i wanted to tell the man being interviewed to shut up and think positive thoughts. people are feeding on the influx of negativity. it is happening in our economy. it is happening in our dreams. it is happening in our lives. to block it, i've turned to escapism on a much more routine basis.
i watched an old episode of candid camera last night that fed my theory of a general negative energy. people reacted so differently to the jokes. they played along like programmed robots. yes, fifty years ago people were so different from now. and i am not, in any way, suggesting we return to a time in which we follow every sign and herd like cattle. i am, however, suggesting the world lighten up just a little. send a little love. take a little love. love a lot of love...
in seven days i'll be thirty. this is my crusade until i turn 31. i will send positive energy into the universe...
i received a birthday surprise from philip yesterday. it was a facial with his gal. when he told me about the surprise i was not excited at all. i thought, "what's wrong with my skin?" being a good gay man, I TOTALLY ENJOYED IT. it was not the type of facial that relaxes you. it was the type of facial that works. there was a little pain, but it was not outrageous. chatting with mary was a riot. she and philip obviously talk about me. she knew way too much about us and me.
mary is the type of person you would expect to smile all day. of course, if i were able to release ALL of my aggressions on the faces of strangers... I WOULD SMILE TOO!
*friday night festivities ensue light craziness.
*saturday was spent driving to and from athens to rescue my sister. she's quite amusing!
*saturday night cliff, steve and ashley joined philip, parker and me for dinner, spider web weavin', a dawgopoly challenge (it was great fun until we went broke) and saturday night live.
*sunday was, for a change, my day of rest. much needed and quite nice! i finally saw a beautiful mind last night. wow!
*this is my last full week of work for 3 weeks!!!! i leave next wednesday for europe! YAY.
how can you feel flat when everything in your life is going well? do i have this overwhelming need for conflict and drama? is it the small remainder of conflict and drama in my life that makes me feel flat? have i reached a new understanding of personal things valued? i think so.
i am a different person than i was eighteen months ago. a retrospective glance of post-walt is so uninteresting to me. maybe i am too consumed with understanding and analyzing my life. should i just take my own advice and live in the world instead of living in myself?!?
yes, yes and yes. thank you for pulling me out of myself in our brief chat.
in thirteen days i turn twenty-nine for the second time! my first twenty-ninth birthday rocked. i always subscribe to the theory if one is good, two is better. so, twenty-nine part two is obviously going to kick ass. i assume i will continue to rock out with my cock out. i assume i will continue to stumble my way through the weekends and sleep my way through the weeknights.
i am certain i will have the same great friends who have graced my life this year. i will meet more new people i love and more new people i will not care to see again.
the celebration begins now. it is officially my birthday season! ME. ME. ME. LEO. LEO. LEO.
this morning was a cardio morning. i hate cardio. i usually run on the machine and get so tired of watching the same thing. one of the televisions caught my eye today. it was an MTV video. i did not recognize the artist, so i continued watching it. the video turned so dark and apocalyptic. so many things were happening on so many levels and the worlds, although colliding, never interacted.
it made me think about the levels on which things happen in my world. it made me wonder how many things i am not capable of catching because of the realm in which i reside. it was quite creepy, actually. i just wish i knew the song and artist. does this ring a bell to anyone?
yesterday i braved a new chair. i braved a new salon, if you can call it a salon. crimpers is quite the place to visit. my stylist of choice was unreachable. my hair was unmanageable. my decision was irreversible. although my hair does not look bad, the whole experience was so completely different from my routine trip to the chair.
the experience was more like a task than a luxury. there was no fun. it was all work. all work and no play equals a mediocre haircut. it equals horrible conversation. it equates to no entertainment value. waltie won't return to crimpers.
my sister is in town. my parents are in town. i was able to spend some time with them over the weekend and time with friends. parker was included in everything, but my parents were not. it is so odd to not introduce them to philip. i think they know he exists, but they never ask about this part of my life. for some reason, it is really eating me.
i was able to take bret to brunch yesterday, but not my partner. why is that? what is their fear? are they afraid to see me so happy? are they afraid they may actually like someone i love? will this ever change?
we woke very early and came into the office this morning. it was difficult to leave the houseboat. i was sleeping so well. the water is so calming. my body was completely drained from the day and the night before. i will heed this horoscope today. especially when we get back up to the lake this afternoon.
This is a good time to pay attention to your body, Walt. Have you been eating nutritious food and exercising regularly? It can be challenging to do so. But right now you could be feeling fatigued, and proper health care is more important than ever. Try to invest in your own well-being today. Get some vitamins or stimulating herbs to bring your body back into balance. Go for a walk and feel the Earth grounding you.
Wednesday, July 03, 2002 ::: celebration in every nation
tonight an entire crew of people are celebrating my friend kimberly's birthday at chastain park. we have tables. we have wine. we have food. we have a great evening planned.
we are prepared to enjoy the stars and stripes spectacular performance. i love performances at chastain. when the sun says good-night the temperature becomes palatable. numerous candles burn on the surrounding tables. music fills the air, along with subtle laughter. it is the perfect place for a quiet celebration. it is the ideal way to begin my independence holiday: reflective, appreciative and surrounded by people i love.
i am officially excited about my independence day plans. philip and i will be heading up to lake lanier to his parent's boat. there were a few questions of whether or not we would go, but the 'rents are allowing dogs to spend the night on the boat. that makes me smile, because now my day will include food, water, sun and a quiet retreat.
there is nothing more exciting than delayed flights. who really plans on departing on schedule anyway? we all just arrive at airports two hours before our flights because it is so much fun to sit there. the chairs are so comfortable and you always meet so many people just like yourself.
last night i was able to spend an extra hour and a half in upstate new york. i had the unique privledge of an annoying kid continuously talking to me. i enjoyed ample CNN airport tv time. i was so bored i ate dinner at mcdonald's and then desert at the ice cream place next door.
by the time i boarded my flight i was exhausted. i was so exhausted that i fell asleep on the folding tray. the flight attendant had to wake me by LITERALLY pulling my head off of the table as we landed in atlanta. however, i was really glad she did. it afforded me the opportunity to enjoy the twenty minute wait for us to pull into our arrival gate.