Thursday, February 28, 2002 ::: email from my mom... she's so cute
Hey - does sound like a busy week. Think positive thoughts today!
I just got back from the gym and guess who walked in today with BRIGHT ROYAL BLUE leotards - Chris's* Mom. She came and walked on the tread mill right next to me and was pleasant. There is still that strain that I can feel. Nothing I can do but continue to be kind.
They had new scales in the gym and I weigh (xxx)** according to them. GOING DOWN............
Twiggy in New York
*and we wonder how waltie became waltie? fyi, chris is my sister's ex-beau.
**my mother is petite, but i doubt she wants me to publish her weight.
still here. still alive. not a moment to spare again today. i am so ready for thursday to be finished. i will be drinking bloody's on delta friday morning. i will be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. sooooo happy. do you hear how fucking happy i will be when this week is finished?
i was up until one this morning writing a proposal. woke again at seven for an appointment. back in the office to review first proposal. an appointment next. back in the office to write another proposal. another long night.
i am soooooo ready for this weekend. can you so BLOW-IT-OUT?!?! watch out manhattan, 'licious will soon be en route.
...so does this wacked-out world. i love it too. turn a corner and see a new color. cross a bridge and enter a new realm. it happens in my life every day. every single day, i tell you. one of the things i cherish most about this world and my life is the unpredictable nature and gift of diversity. here is my case in point.
mr. miller and mr. bell invited a crew of us over last night for a lovely din-din in their 'hood. we drank lots of wine. we smoked lots of weed. we laughed. we watched figure skating. we ragged on one another. fun, fun, fun. philip and I decided to head home early and go to bed.
well, waltie was drunk. waltie wanted another drink. philip, being the upstanding boyfriend he is, pulled into our neighborhood watering DUMP for a drink. we stumbled in and the bar DRUNK (not me) was fashioning cheap leather. the room was filled with white and black helium baloons. a sign was proudly hung upon the wall that read: OPUS ONE LEATHER NIGHT. danny, our friendly bartender, greeted us in leather. i felt home. uh huh.
i noticed a stockade (thanks for the word, john) against the wall. a blow-up doll was trapped in the wooden contraption. i thought it was rather strange. it got worse. two fat, old drag queens decided to do a little performance. one lifted her shirt and bent over the stockade. the other stood behind her and lightly beat her blubbery back with leather whips and things. each time the leather slapped her back, a bar full of strange birds clapped their hands together in unison. it was one of the most unusual things i have ever seen.
philip and i went home; and that is all you need to know.
remember what i said yesterday about being oblivious to so many things and being an airhead in general? i did it today. again. yes. me. i know you cannot believe it (especially those who really know me). my sitemeter just turned 9,100. 9099 plus 1 does not equal 10,000, in case anyone else had the same addition problem waltie did. so, it stands: i have still ALMOST arrived. not yet. stay tuned.
however, good things were written in the clouds for me today. i closed a deal i have been dying to sign today. i also had a surprise lunch with my father. he called me en route to ny via hartsfield international airport. we were able to grab a bite prior to his departing atlanta today. brief, but much needed and enjoyed.
back to work. i also have a remedial math tutorial this afternoon. wish me well...
it is written in the clouds. my sitemeter will hit 10,000 visitors today. when i first started blogging i remember thinking it would never happen. i remember noticing the people who had five-digit visitor counters. it seems so silly to even acknowledge this, but i did (and still do). i am sure other bloggers have too.
that was almost a year ago and today is the day for a mind's eye. i find it difficult to believe people have an interest in my babble, but i dig it. many of my musings are irrelevant and silly, but it is such a release for me. i know this daily exercise has helped waltalicious/walt/waltie connect with many thoughts and feelings historically ignored. they are minor, but the minor things make a difference.
it is one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite movies. if you were to ask me anything that did not relate to work this week, it would be my answer. were it not for npr i would have no clue there was a world outside of this telecommunications giant. i have just finished work (after arriving early again today). i have a few more things to do before departing. tomorrow is hell. friday is hell. i have to work on a proposal saturday.
i did not think this was the life for which i signed up, but i am rather enjoying it. strange.
la. la. la. i often go through life half aware of my surroundings. i know where i am going. i know what i want to do. why do the minor details like closing a door, locking a door, putting a car in park or hanging up the phone matter? they should require no effort.
yesterday, i was leaving the gym. endorphins were pumping through my body. i was in a great mood. i just purchased dog food for the pups. i was gabbing into a friend's voicemail and WHAM! i think i have a flat tire. i pull over in the parking lot, while leaving a message, and jump out of the car in hopes to find my guess incorrect. it was. however, i forgot to put my car in park when i jumped out. it started driving straight towards a wall. luckily, very luckily, i made it to the brake in time. what was i thinking?
this morning endorphins were flowing again after my workout. i was leaving home for work and happend to glance back up at my house from the foot of the driveway. what do i see? the front door standing wide open. what was i thinking?
at least i make myself laugh! i think i make other people laugh too. maybe this is my purpose in life. to be laughed at, while laughing with!
unfortunately, i do not have much time to post. work is demanding every bit of energy i can muster. i was so exhausted last night i fell asleep before nine o'clock. philip usually calls before he goes to bed and woke me at ten. i felt like an old man. am i becoming an old man?
during our first conversation i was obviously stressed. when he spoke the three words, i love you, at the end of our conversation my tension was dismissed by calm. amazing. i feel relaxed just playing it over in my mind.
it may be a holiday for some people, but not for me. i woke after a weekend of drinks and drinks and drinks with the gloom of monday hanging over my head. i hate starting monday's in a team meeting. they drag for an hour and a half and limited material is ever covered. i want to be like the girl on my team who just never shows up for the meetings. she always has a convenient scheduling conflict. people comment, but nothing ever happens to her.
a few buds came for dinner for v-day since philip is in florida. melissa and i beat dale and john in spades. i cooked a rockin' dinner. i drank way too much wine and alledgedly left my home with out saying goodbye or good night to john.
my valentine is an amazing man. he is just crazy enough to keep me interested, but sane enough to keep me grounded. when i am with him i am entertained. our conversation is always present and never lacks color.
my valentine is warm. when i look into his eyes i know what he is thinking. this comfort is my refuge when the world scares me. my valentine is dashing. when he walks into a room, i am proud he is my boyfriend. he is the most hunky, sexy man i know.
my valentine makes me feel like the center of the universe. when we are together i know he would not rather be anywhere else. i feel the same way about him. my valentine listens. when i tell him a story he is genuinely interested. sometimes we both have a separate conversation going, but amazingly, we are listening to one another.
my valentine is a compliment to me. i could not imagine someone who fit so well into what i want out of life.
my valentine is honorable. not only does he make me want to be a better person, but he also makes me a better person.
my valentine is one of my closest and most cherished friends. i would have it no other way. i love my valentine.
i have a big, fat case of creative block. my attempts to convey feelings regarding lent are continually futile. moreover, attempts to determine what will be my item of choice this lenten season remains undetermined. each year i select a vice or an item that sounds impressive, but will be particularly easy for me to achieve. you know, like, this year i am giving up my favorite vegetable for lent: cabbage!
everyone listening thinks, "that really takes a huge effort, walt." i stand boastfully and gloat in my ability to part with such a cherished part of my daily life. what will i do without my cabbage omletes? what about my coveted cabbage cookies? oh, and that cabbage pie i love so much... how will my life continue without it? i spend fat tuesday in the kitchen baking, broiling, frying and mixing every cabbage dish i can possibly remember. i stuff my face with cabbage souffle, cabbage cookies with chocolate chips, cabbage rolls, cabbage bread and my favorite... homemade cabbage ice cream. YUM!
it is with much joy i report my selected lenten item of deprivation. for lent, i give up the concept of depriving myself of anything i love.
i had an incredible weekend. i worked a few hours both saturday and sunday. i played both afternoons. philip and i had a very nice early valentine's dinner. (he's out of town all week.) i played with my roommate. we visited john. philip,dale, melissa and i went to the park on saturday with the dogs. it was all great, great, great.
today i have this presentation and am in the office after dropping philip at the train for his flight. time to prepare. i hope it goes well...
i am in the office attempting to complete my business plan presentation for monday morning. i am presenting to my boss, his boss, her boss, my entire team and three directors from various support staff groups. it is a summary of my business plan for 2002. account reviews are required. projected revenue is required. it is saturday morning and waltilicious is thinkin'.
push it real good... i heard salt n peppa get down during my morning workout. philip and i were laughing so hard. it was a great start to the morning.
i laughed more when he told me about his recent dream. he met my father and had the hots for him. he said he was so worried about what he would do throughout the entire dream because my father made his motor run. hmmmm, what's that about? funny!
Wednesday, February 06, 2002 ::: calgon, take me away!
i feel blog-blocked. i feel relaxation-blocked. i feel walt-blocked. i feel friend-blocked. i feel communication-blocked. i feel love-blocked. i feel chill-blocked. i feel bliss-blocked. i feel block-block-blockedly-blocked.
does anyone else?
what is block-block-blockeding the nice, georgia winter weather? what is blockedy-blocking my carefree blocking happiness?
tomorrow night i am hanging with john and dale. john, i think you are right; getting blocked is a great idea!
tonight i am going to philip's. maybe we will block this block right out of me. ahhhh, i hope so!
if you are feeling blocked too, go visit BLECH!!!!!
not feeling too bloggy this morning. i am, but work requires too much attention. i have been burried in meetings this week. i swear by the end of each one my head is about to explode.
the most recent meeting had me wanting to stand up and yell at everyone who had a stupid comment. do they realize their comments prolong these stupid-fucking-useless-meetings? i do not care on which floor the chili cook-off is at lunch today. i do not care if you call the customer first or i call the customer first. LEAVE ME ALONE.
i am in a great mood because the meeting is finally FUCKING OVER!
i DO NOT eat pussy. would someone please tell these suburban straight colleagues of mine? again, i DO NOT eat pussy. i AM a fag. i AM very sexually attracted to men; men with big muscles and fun minds.
my weekend was busy. friday night philip had a party for clients at his house. saturday i spent preparing for bret and my cocktail party. saturday night was my cocktail party and i was SUPER drunk. shocker! philip and i snuck out early (1.30???) and went to a dive nearby for two more drinks. never enough!
sunday we slept until 1.30, which is unheard of for me. we then lounged on the sofa all afternoon until i had my work superbowl party. i went to the party for an hour and returned to philip's for chinese and a movie.
today i spent in a kick-off meeting for 2002. it was actually motivating after the speakers of the morning finished. tomorrow is going to be absolute hell and i am actually looking forward to it.